Social aggression is made visible on MySpace
In their book “Aggression, Antisocial Behavior, and Violence Among Girls”, the researchers Putallaz and Bierman argue that females avoid physical aggression but instead use social aggression as their outlet for rage. Deborah Giorgi-Guarnieri summarizes the argument as “boys are good at physical aggression and girls prefer social aggression. Social aggression means, ‘acts intended to inflict damage on a victim’s social relationships or social status,’ (p 15) such as gossip.”
Ten years ago, when a lot of this gossip was still verbal, and offline, it was difficult for outsiders to see these kinds of attacks. Gossip, after all, could be delivered to specific audiences, and anyone outside of that audience might only hear a garbled version of the attack. If you were inclined to think of the aggressor as kind, and if the gossip was especially vicious, then you were free to believe that the aggressor never really said the things that 3rd parties might later tell you that she did indeed say.
MySpace, and other online social networking sites, helps make the gossip visible. This, for instance, was recently posted by a woman that I know, and it is about another woman that I know:
A Message to Older Women: This has been a long time coming…
Dear Older Women (in the +30 range),
DON’T HATE.
Stop reminding me that I’m younger than you, I can SEE the difference and I’m quite pleased with the view.
One day I’ll be as old as you and I know that I certainly won’t be as (if at all) bitter- There are plenty of other women who are not that way who are your age and are mature about it. You may be older, but grow the fuck up and be proud your dents, wrinkles, and knowledge. Stop being so fucking vain. Don’t blame the young ones for your inadequacies in life or your inadequacies in your relationships.
Thank you.
Love,
26 year old, unsagging, virgin uterus & stomach, and well rested.
(The “virgin uterus” bit is potentially confusing - it is meant to say “I have not had a baby”, not that she is a virgin.)
There is a certain irony to a post so full of venom starting off with the words “Don’t Hate”.
The advantage, I think, to posting this on MySpace, is that the poster gets to potentially shame her target in front of a much larger audience than if the communication was done verbally.
A lot of articles have focused on how MySpace is changing relations among teenagers. Yet, with little effort, I could find a dozen such incidents occurring in my adult social network.